Cold and numb.
so..he was just a FRIEND. a very nice friend actually.
someone i was thinking would be just my FOREVER friend.
haha. yes, yes. we we’re good. we we’re great at being just friends.
the moments where we laughed and spilled jokes at each other,
when you really knew you both understand,
t’was pretty fun && awesome, of course :)
he was always there to make me smile & protect me all the time.
he never failed to give me gifts and other stuffs that
everyday seemed like my birthday.
he was a very comforting guy. he hates to see me cry.
i often receive messages from him asking me if i’m okay,
that i should take care of myself.
and whoa! there were even messages with the *ever sparkling* 3 words.
but, hey, hey, i wasn’t thinking of anything.
for me, it was just SUPER NORMAL for a friend who cares.
**haha. ang showbiz ko!**
everyone’s telling me, “may gusto sayo yan”
then i answered, “close lang talaga kami”
and then they would ask again, “what if manligaw sayo, may chance ba?”
without even thinking twice, i would answer them,
(though i know he was just right there listening) WALA.
i am so harsh, i know. what can i do?
he was just totally *a friend* to me.
may prinsipyo kasi ako sa self ko.
i don’t like those people who were my friends then would suddenly tell me they like me as more than friends.
HELLO?? itatapon nalang ang friendship?
that’s why i’d always say that kung magkakagusto man lang ako sa isang tao, hindi sa kaibigan ko, dun na lang ako sa stranger :)
i never knew that i was too vocal.
i even told him that i didn’t like him hugging or touching me.
i didn’t even get to appreciate everything he did.
**ang sama ko nga pla talaga sa kanya**
so ayun…na notice ko nalang that my days went so boring.
wula na yung laging nangungulit, like when everytime i see him,
i really find my best to hide. HAHA :DD
ngayon, kapag nakikita ko sya, i tend to expect something,
but there’s nothing nah :(
i don’t get the usual text messages from him like take care,
i wanna see you, or kamusta ka na.
also the good morning messages & the very late good nights :(
and like, when i open my FB account, i’d get to see his chat
messages and even posts on my wall.
so i tried to check myself, and HURRAH!!
“shit, gimingaw ko niya!”
i guess the world seemed to stumble and made things go upside down.
bumaliktad na yata eh. ako nah…ako nah ang naghahanap sa kanya.
bakit parang kinain ko yata mga sinabi ko?
UGH. sinu bah nmn kasi ngsabi sakin na maniwala ako sa LOVE LIST ko?
LOVE LIST: How to win my heart :)
1. Hug me from behind.
2. Grab my hand and hold me as long as possible.
3. Give me surprises.
4. Comfort me when i cry.
5. Don’t be afraid to tell me you miss me or you want to see me.
6. Cuddle with me like a kid.
7. Don’t force me to do ANYTHING!
8. Compliment me.
9. Say I love you even in simple ways.
10. Write little notes & messages.
Minsan mahirap talaga baguhin yung nakasanayan na. Nakasanayan mo nang andyan sya lagi. Akala mo, di na sya mawawala pa, kaya di mo pinapahalagahan. Pero nang nawala na, saka mo pa hinahanap.